Christmas Card from Vai Vai

Money’s Short and Times are Hard, Here’s your Freakin’ Christmas Card

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Everybody felt shitty

Even the mouse …..

Mum at the whorehouse

And dad smoking grass

I’d just settle down

For a nice piece of arse …

When out on the lawn

I heard such a clatter

I sprung from my piece

To see what was the matter …

Then out on the lawn

I saw a big dick

I knew in a moment

It must be Saint Nick …

He came down the chimney

Like a bat out of hell

I knew in a moment

The fucker had fell …

He filled all our stockings

With pretzels and beer

And a big rubber dick

For my brother the queer …

He rose up the chimney

With a thunderous fart

The son of a bitch

Blew the chimney apart …

He swore and he cursed

As he rode out of sight

Piss on you all

And have a hell of a night!!!

Merry Friggin’ Christmas!

To all at Hash

From Vai Vai