Hash Trash 1796

(狗屁新闻)

The Hash was hosted at Wet Pussy’s in Siusega. The Hashers arrived through various transportative means, they all expressed the wish for enhanced cooperation with the Host. In order to improve mutual understanding and cooperation, the GM explained that the major global issue for their consideration was to turn left at the gates, being guided by the “3 Rights”. Inspired by this mutual trust and understanding the Hashers ran, meandered and walked their way forwards on the path to the road to Siusega. Expanded coordination between the front runners was exemplary, as befits the enriched and active role that these play, and it was ascertained that the path was again to the left. Through further people-to-people engagement, namely the calling of the on-on, the continued fostering of bilateral cooperation was assured as the Hashers re-gathered, then yet again turned left before reaching the capitalist-imperialist religious shrine at the corner of Faleata. Greeting the gathered proletariat along the route with a brotherly malo, and continued assurance of friendly relations, the Hashers were turned left yet again into a disused agrarian area, no doubt victim to anarcho-separatists plots fomented by opponents of multilateral frameworks for rural development. This was borne out by the large number of unfed dogs that sought to maul the group. Upon exiting back on the road, the Hashers pledged to continue onwards, working in line with the principles of common but differentiated responsibilities and respective capacities to achieve a balanced and fruitful end to the run. With further calls for on-on, and on-home, enhanced integration based on the foundation of bilateral partnership ensured that the Hashers all returned to Wet Pussy in accordance with their national priorities, through continuously deepening the friendly cooperative relationships.

You can read more along those lines in certain pages of the Observer.

As mentioned last week we are in daylight savings mode again, so the runs started at 6 PM, but it was still bloody hot. Godfather’s cool cool nuts were a lifesaver. But soon Hot Nuts as acting GM called the circle to a semblance of order, which would continue. He reminded us that we have the big 1800 run coming up, noted there were none new to Hash and called for the retreads. These were Beyonce, Hot Nuts, Wahoo and Roadrunner (who took it in Coke). The GM forgot to ask them for excuses.

Daz was appointed Shoe Inspector, tried hard, but failed.

Celebrity Awards went to Kristiane for Slim Shady (first time a UNWomen story in paper did NOT include Slim Shady), Godfather for Swinger/BB/Black Box (at RWC in UK), Wet Pussy (On The Street column), Cunning Linguist (two stories in the paper) and Strap On for Sassy (photo etc in paper). Kristianes was doubled for wearing a hat, and she had to be helped by Twin Peaks to finish. Then he got another as he too was wearing a hat!

This Day In History Awards went to Poumuli (1903 – The new Gresham's School is officially opened by Field Marshal Sir Evelyn Wood – he attended that school), Witch Doctor (1972 – In a referendum, the people of Norway reject membership of the European Community), Hot Nuts (2009 – An 8.0 magnitude earthquake near the Samoan Islands causes a tsunami; and Feast Day of St Gregory the Illuminator), Cunning Linguist (Dominion Day in New Zealand), Godfather (World Tourism Day) and Lewinsky (World Rabies Day).

Turning to the GM’s Awards, during the Mt Vaea challenge one Hash Mere had such a fright that she had to be wrapped in a blanket, but without someone wrapped with her to keep her warm – Claudia. Lewinsky then nominated the GM, as he had seen him using the mozzie spray, lifting his shorts up so high that the Hot Nuts popped out. Poumuli pointed out that Lewinsky shouldn’t have been looking at the GM’s crotch, but instead of Lewinsky copping one Hot Nuts got a large one for inciting Lewinsky to gay thoughts.

POD wanted to nominate someone Welsh, and thought to settle for a man wearing red (but this was Lewinsky) so she went instead for the NRL Queensland Maroons supporter Twin Peaks. She also mentioned the humiliation by Springboks at the hands of Japan, so reluctantly Offspring joined the middle. This took forever to finish, thus Hot Nuts opined that we need more verses. Twin Peaks offered something mumblingly, and obviously failed, to avoid another down-down.

POD nominated the GM for trying to feel her up, and Poumuli suggested that Lewinsky should also have one for not defending his wife’s virtue. In a classic example of misdirected justice POD Lewinsky and Hot Nuts took the award.

POD then recounted a story told by Claudia about getting stung by a jellyfish on her hoo-hah, which was re-enacted by Claudia. After much confusion it was believed that a Lip Service Award was in order.

Witch Doctor nominated Roadrunner for first of all not coming to Hash for a while, and secondly for setting the run using a busdriver mate of his – Inventive Chariotriding Award.

Strap On nominated Daz and Kristiane for not showing up to the Mt Vaea run. Then the Hare and Hosts were saluted – Roadrunner, Wet Pussy, Offspring, Imelda da Welda, Witch Doctor and Beyonce.

POD asked for support for the Pinktober Triathlon at the airport Sheraton, with all proceeds to the Cancer Society.

Next week’s run will be at Twin Peaks in Vaoala.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit